Take care of you... (an update)

A while back I posted a life update, which you can find here.

It has been 4 weeks since my mother was released from the hospital.  FOUR weeks.  I was so happy when she got home because it felt like for the first time in my life I had my mother back, she was nice and pleasant to talk to, she made sense, and most importantly she wasn't drunk.  She had made plans to come with my grandfather to come see me and my son and we were looking forward to seeing her since she last saw him when he is a month old and now he is just over a year old.

Well, two weeks ago she started drinking again.  She swore to me she wouldn't start again because she wanted to live and not ever end up in the hospital again.  I called her out on it because she was starting to do weird things and not make sense again.  She got mad and swore she wasn't drinking and that things were going just fine and she was making lunch and dinner for my grandfather every day.  Well, things got worse and she was squirreled away in her room every day and wouldn't come down at all when my grandfather was home.

I created a calendar for my Grandfather on Shutterfly filled with pictures of my son for his birthday because he's going to be 90 and I had no idea what else to get the man who has everything.  My grandmother died 5 years ago so I try and look for things to cheer him up.  (He loved the calendar, not that he is using it as calendar, but he's 90, he can do whatever he wants).  Well my mother found the envelope and left me a nasty voicemail about how I never send her anything (not true) and how he's hiding the calendar from her (also not true).  He has it on his nightstand because he's using it as a photo book (clearly I ordered the wrong gift).

As of now, my mother is denying that she is drunk.  She is refusing to see any family and keeps in her room squirreled away.  She is mad at all of us and in her world she isn't drinking and is downstairs with my grandfather every day.  She is mad at me because she said she wasn't going to come with my grandfather to visit us and then got mad at me because I said she wasn't allowed until she straightened up and got sober and until then she can't be in our lives.


The main point of this post is, sometimes you have to cut toxic people out of your lives.  Family, friends, acquaintances... if they are toxic you can removed them from your life.  DO NOT FEEL BAD FOR DOING THIS.  YOUR happiness comes first.  I know a lot of people don't understand how I can cut my mother out of my life because "she's your mother."  NO.  My mother has never been my mother, she gave birth to me.  In those brief two weeks after he release she actually felt like a mother, but that quickly came to an end.  I spent years being told I wasn't good enough by her and being kicked to the streets when I was just a teenager by her.  I spent years as a child being beaten by her.  NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TREATED LIKE THIS, NO ONE.


One of my friends shared this graphic with me and I'm going to share it with my followers because it is the TRUTH.

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A life update...

We're sorry if we have been a little MIA lately.  Life has not been too kind to us and we had a lot thrown on our plate.

We have a little baby who is almost 1 year old and he is super active and always on the go.  My grandmother ended up in the hospital with a brain aneurysm and a 3% chance to live.  She did make it and is in recovery now and has a lot of physical therapy to go through.

Then, my mother ended up in the hospital on life support.  She has been an alcoholic for over a decade and has had several trips to the hospital because she was acting off and was having trouble with her organs.  Not once has she ever actually admitted to drinking, it has always been "ice water."  Imagine growing up with a drunk mother, who was not a nice drunk but a very mean drunk, and one that couldn't even admit to the fact that they had ONE drink, in her world she wasn't drinking any alcohol.  

Well, this trip to the hospital was different.  The ambulance had to be called, they worked on her for close to 30 minutes before they even left for the hospital.  It was THAT BAD.  She ended up on life support and they airlifted her to a hospital that was more equipped to deal with the multitude of issues.  Her organs were not functioning, she had no blood pressure, and her temperature was 94 degrees.  Against all odds she did survive and quite possibly in the most amazing moment of all of this she not only admitted that she had a problem but that she was going to AA meetings.  Will she actually follow through?  Only time will tell.

I may actually end up with my mother after all of this.  For all of the families suffering with a loved one with an addiction, I feel for you, my heart aches for you.  I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy.  It is an awful thing to have to watch someone suffer with someone with addiction.


Thank you for sticking with us and for reading this. DISCLOSURE SOME LINKS INCLUDED IN THIS POST MAY BE AFFILIATE LINKS FOR WHICH I MAY RECEIVE A COMMISSION WHEN YOU CLICK THROUGH THE LINK.